-Loud noise and bright screens are so annoying.

-It breaks my heart whenever I see people being cold to each other. I'm sad when the atmosphere is sad.

--How to talk?
Just talk like how I usually do when I was younger but add that level of depth and complexity that I discovered.

-Also be more honest with my opinion

-So wait, have I not been wasting my time then? I mean if wasted time is as good as 'well used time', does that mean all I've been doing in these past few years were just as good as the time I got a 4 pointer?
I guess the only thing I missed was the time to be normal.

-Yet I still feel like there should be something else I'm doing. Something better than this. Be a better person than this. Feeling less hungrier than this. I should be asleep by now. I want to be asleep by now.

-I guess the only thing for a human to do is to keep studying, to keep reading. To be smarter and smarter. And maybe I'll find the answer. Maybe little Syakir'll find the answer.

-I started to think again that I want a girlfriend because I always wanted to be in the scene of cold Christmas night with a girlfriend.

-But after thinking about it, I find out, again, that I'm not husband material. I have no life. I'm absolutely lonely.  I thought to myself, "I don't even want a girlfriend". I don't even want to be married. I'm not suitable for it.

-Then, I'll forget about that too. Than I will have this feeling again.

-I figured out, with my genius brain that all that's weird been happening to me like my memory problems and everything stemmed from ADHD. Yay me.

-Fariesya texted me, and called me. But I didn't answer both after founding out that she is really good friends with Nabil, my cute boy classmate. Sheesh he's so popular with the lady friends. Stupid handsome people. He deserves the attention he gets though. He can drive a car, he have lots of friends, he is super friendly and his physiques is top notch. And what the Hell do I have? A gallery of funny internet pictures and weird music in my library? The only redeeming quality of mine is I'm kind of smart. Even that's not much, my smartness depends on my mood and my personality, which is very fickle and very immature and childish. Can I even compete with people outside? What can I bring to the world? How can I feel happy again? How can I love and be loved ever again?

-Am I a masochist? I torture myself at night, yet next day I'll do absolutely the best I can. I got the 'new age mentality' from Game Grumps, where I do everything spontaneously and without much thinking.

-Is it because I always push myself? I never slow down in the outside world. But I sometimes skip classes for quit sometimes without any reason, and I lie each time. I've never told anyone about my true condition and thoughts. I need a way to express my confused and angry side. Or not I will always be unhappy and sour.

-I guess, in the end, despite everything bad that had happened to me, I should just be grateful I'm in one piece. Why should I interfere with another person's taste and lifestyle?

-This world is pretty dull and depressing and sad and pathetic. More than I thought anyway. Completely empty. Nobody belongs anywhere, there is no purpose, we're all going to die.

-Even after all that, I'm still stuck with myself. All alone in my own world, thinking my thoughts, going on with my life without any real significance...